MIMF

Nick, the version I remember went something like this,

Hourly rate £30
If you watch £60
If you help £120
If you already tried to fix it and messed up £240

That's right, we have that sign in American workshops too!
And I have another favorite sign in my shop:
"There are three ways that I do a job-
1- The right way
2- My way
3- Go away"

I always liked: YOU CAN HAVE IT DONE RIGHT, CHEAP, OR QUICK. PICK TWO

My favorite is "If you want it really bad... you will get it really bad..."

Painted in big letter on the back of my late father's office - 'How come there's never enough money to do the job right, but there's always enough money to do it again?'